Estefano: You don’t focus enough on the woman, on the here and now. What do i mean? What I mean by that is that the men are not fully there at the moment. Do you know when a man speaks to you and you realize that he is not really listening to you, but is actually tacting what he is saying next?
Doris: Yes. And that’s totally funny. Because then I always ask him a question about what I just said. And if he can’t give it back to me, then he’s already gone.
Estefano: You ask him questions about that? Small mean traps!
Doris: Yes, I ask what I just said. Please repeat that again.
Estefano: And then he says: “Eh, I don’t know …”
Doris: Yes, and then unfortunately he left.
Estefano: What is he thinking about then, do you think?
Doris: About sex! Or worse – about his ex-girlfriend! And he compares me to his ex-girlfriend! Everything is possible!
Estefano: What e.g. not even possible if he is not really so focused on you and therefore is not just in the future what he wants to do with you or is with his ex in the past …
Doris: … or he’s mentally at work …
Estefano: That means you’re not in the here and now. And also e.g. what is not at all possible is walking eyes. That means he talks to you, but he looks at other women all the time. Has it ever happened to you?
Doris: Oh my god! No! Completely horrible!
Estefano: What would you think then? You know, an attractive woman walks by and he looks after her …
Doris: Ahh! I would get up and say: “All the best! See you again! “That is not possible!
Estefano: Why? What does it show? What does it tell you about a man who likes to look at other women?
Doris: I’m wasting my time on them!
Estefano: I can already see how your ego is scratched a bit! That’s not possible, right ?!
Doris: No, not at all! How can I build the future with him ?! Because you’re dating a man, usually …
Estefano: Oh, you’re thinking about your future!
Doris: I have rather serious intentions. Because otherwise I wouldn’t waste my time with him. And then I think to myself: “Oh dear, that was wasted getting there, wasted preparing, all wasted! Now I’m leaving! “
Estefano: Because you think if he is distracted by other women when he speaks, what does he do when we are together?
Doris: Yes. Perceiving other women – you really have to do that with absolute discretion
Estefano: You have to do it subtly! Yes, or, or e.g., when he starts because he is so good at what he wants to do with you that he starts secretly looking at the detail! What do you think about? When a man secretly looks at the neckline?
Doris: I think that’s cute!
Estefano: You think that’s cute ?! OK! Cool! Is it a compliment for you?
Doris: Yes, that’s a compliment!
Estefano: I think what’s not good about it is not looking at the detail, but hiding it. Because if I say, “Boh, I can’t concentrate, I have to look at your neck all the time!” you know?
Doris: This is sexy!
Estefano: Why is it sexy when I say it that way, I can’t concentrate?
Doris: Yes, because it’s so charming! Because it’s a compliment!
Estefano: Yes. And if you turn around and I look at your ass, I can concentrate even less … No, but that’s true. Because he’s confident enough to say what he thinks at the moment and to stand by it, right?
Estefano: Exactly, that’s also funny and self-confident